Does This Look Like the Face of a Guy Who "Had To Pee Bad" So He Let it Fly in a Radio Shack?

Ron Swanson, 2040

Source - A 65-year-old Arkansas man who allegedly urinated on the carpet of a Radio Shack and told cops he “had to pee bad” was arrested on public intoxication and criminal mischief charges over the weekend. An officer who responded to the Radio Shack in Paragould, Ark., noticed that John Posey’s pants were unzipped and he had bloodshot eyes, was unsteady on his feet, and “smelled of intoxicants,” according to a police report obtained Wednesday by the Smoking Gun. Posey told police he was just shopping in the Radio Shack and denied urinating on the store’s carpet. But the officer said a store display smelled of urine and was showed a wet spot on the floor by the store’s manager, according to the report. After the officer spoke again to Posey, he allegedly admitted urinating in the Arkansas Radio Shack. “I had to pee bad [sic],” the 65-year-old reportedly told police. When asked why he didn’t ask to use the store’s bathroom, Posey allegedly responded, “stores usually won’t let you … so I didn’t ask.”

First off, let’s talk about the most important issue at hand, as I literally had no idea Radio Shack still existed. How does it possibly make money? I guess in places like Arkansas where the internet is as real as big foot, people still drive their station wagons to stores. What an ass backwards thing to do. Amazon is talking about flying blu ray players to our front door within 30 minutes, and people in Arkansas are driving to Radio Shacks to piss over over their carpets. But I don’t blame John Posey, especially because he told the god damned truth. What happened? He had to go, and he did. Took the situation by the nuts and demanded respect. Didn’t ask, just punched Radio Shack squarely in the nose and did his business. And took a heroic mugshot. Posture for days. What a legend. What a hero. Reminds me of this kid. Patriots doing patriotic things.