<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1,user-scalable=no,shrink-to-fit=no"><title>You&#39;ve Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me!</title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.css"><script async src="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js"></script><script async src="https://www.caffeine.tv/embed.js"></script><script>window.htlbid=window.htlbid||{},htlbid.cmd=htlbid.cmd||[],htlbid.cmd.push(function(){htlbid.setTargeting("pagetype","blog"),htlbid.setTargeting("authorId","45"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_keywords",["fucking","time","single person","gas tank","big cat","el pres","live event barstool sports picks central || monday","et tune","barstool scottsdale | tonight","big game week","kfc","jesus christ","time lady","place","percent"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv1",["IAB17"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv2",["483"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv3",["483"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_positive","0.08"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_neutral","0.92"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_GGT5_conf","VERY_HIGH"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_GGT5_risk","HIGH"),htlbid.setTargeting("is_testing","no"),htlbid.pubads().setPublisherProvidedId("PPID-GOES-HERE"),htlbid.layout()})</script><script src="https://d9rde3y35j061.cloudfront.net/script.js"></script><script src="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js" async></script><script src="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/embed.js" async></script><style>.union__content{font-family:-apple-system,HelveticaNeue,Roboto,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:18px;color:#5a5b5d;word-wrap:break-word;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0 5px 32px 5px}.union__content p{padding:0;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content img{display:block;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content video{display:block!important;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content .articleAd{text-align:center;margin:16px 0 0 0;background-color:#f5f5f5}.union__content .htlad__container{display:inline-block}.union__content p a{color:#377dc4}.union__content .oembed__wrapper{margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){display:block;margin:16px 0 0 0;padding:4px 12px;border-left:4px solid #77889a;font-style:italic;background:#f0f4f8;text-align:left;border-radius:0 6px 6px 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video) p{font-style:italic}.union__content blockquote,q{quotes:none}.union__content iframe{max-width:100%}.union__content .bs-image-hidden{display:none}.union__content div.hq-image{width:fit-content;margin:0 auto}.union__content span.image-attribution,.union__content span.image-attribution a{color:#757575;font-size:12px;font-style:italic;letter-spacing:.1px;line-height:14px;text-decoration:none;padding:0;margin:0}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer .bs-videoPlayer__container,.union__content video-js,.wp-video{width:100%!important;height:0!important;position:relative;padding-bottom:56.25%;overflow:hidden;margin:16px 0 0 0}.wp-video video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.hq-image video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer__container>iframe{position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border:none}@media (prefers-color-scheme:dark){.union__content,body,html{background:#1c1c1c;color:#f1f1f1}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){border-left:4px solid #367dc4;background:#272c35}}</style><script>window.addEventListener("applicationDidBecomeActive",()=>{document.querySelectorAll(".hq-image video[autoplay]").forEach(e=>e.play())})</script><script>window.htlAdUnitPath="57249056/in-app-iOS/Article-Page_In-Article-Unit",window.htlKeyvalues={authorId:"45",category:"No category",tags:[],brandName:null,brandId:0,pagetype:"standard_post"}</script></head><body class="union__content"><p><a href="http://chicago.barstoolsports.com/?attachment_id=30292" rel="attachment wp-att-30292"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-30292" title="selena" src="http://chicago.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/01/selena.jpg" alt width="396" height="437" sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 776px" loading="eager"></a></p><p><a href="http://chicago.barstoolsports.com/?attachment_id=30293" rel="attachment wp-att-30293"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-30293" title="selena2" src="http://chicago.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/01/selena2.jpg" alt width="433" height="550" sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 776px" loading="lazy"></a></p><p> </p><p>Jesus christ. One time ladies. One time do something with a car that doesn’t endanger every single person around you. I feel like that’s not asking for much. In this particular case Its actually asking for basically nothing. Because you know how many times I have successfully filled up my gas tank without spilling gas all over the place? 100%. 100 percent of the time. And that’s not a brag either, that’s just me saying I’m a normal functioning person with a pulse and a single brain cell. The bar is set so incredibly low for things like this. Yet you keep tripping over it. Unreal.</p><p> </p><p>PS<br>Do celebrities just wear rugs now?</p></body></html>

<p><a href="http://chicago.barstoolsports.com/?attachment_id=30292" rel="attachment wp-att-30292"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-30292" title="selena" src="http://chicago.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/01/selena.jpg" alt width="396" height="437" sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 776px" loading="eager"></a></p><p><a href="http://chicago.barstoolsports.com/?attachment_id=30293" rel="attachment wp-att-30293"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-30293" title="selena2" src="http://chicago.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/01/selena2.jpg" alt width="433" height="550" sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 776px" loading="lazy"></a></p><p> </p><p>Jesus christ. One time ladies. One time do something with a car that doesn’t endanger every single person around you. I feel like that’s not asking for much. In this particular case Its actually asking for basically nothing. Because you know how many times I have successfully filled up my gas tank without spilling gas all over the place? 100%. 100 percent of the time. And that’s not a brag either, that’s just me saying I’m a normal functioning person with a pulse and a single brain cell. The bar is set so incredibly low for things like this. Yet you keep tripping over it. Unreal.</p><p> </p><p>PS<br>Do celebrities just wear rugs now?</p>

You've Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me!

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You've Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me!