When I Read About Putin And Seagal's Friendship A Tidal Wave Of Jealousy Washes Over Me And Crushes My Body Into A Trillion Little Pieces

Big Cat3/14/2013 3:10 PM

(Source) In a meeting at a martial arts school on Moscow’s outskirts, Putin called for physical education rooted in a Soviet-era system. “I think it would be quite appropriate to recall the positive experience of past decades when the so-called GTO, Ready for Labour and Defence, was in use in our country,” he said. The GTO mass physical training program was introduced in the 1930s under Stalin. “The revival of this system – in a new, modern format – could bring major benefits,” Putin told government officials, schoolteachers and coaches. He told the education and sports ministers to study the issue and said students’ performance under the system should be taken into account when universities consider applications.

Putin, who began a six-year term in May, has frequently appealed to nostalgia for the perceived order of the Soviet era. Soviet-era marches played at the Sambo-70 school as students dressed in the white, red and blue of Russia’s flag waited for Putin at a ceremony to open a new building at the school. An announcer added to the martial atmosphere by urging “full alertness”. Seagal’s action films are popular in Russia and he has met the president several times. In what seemed to be a choreographed incident, Seagal rushed into a crowd of children trying to pose with Putin and pulled him out, as if acting as his bodyguard. “Kids, remain calm, it’s a great honor to take pictures with the president of Russia,” the announcer said. Putin and Seagal watched youngsters practice martial arts but did not join them on the gym floor, and Putin wore a jacket and button-down shirt.

I honestly can’t think of a cooler pair than these two. A real life spy who has probably killed hundreds of men with his bare hands and the president of Russia. That’s my wolfpack right there. That’s them. I want in. Like if god forbid I were to ever come down with a terminal illness and I got my one wish, it would be to walk from Coast to Coast, travel into ever small town, big town, and city in the United States of America, just cashing checks and snapping necks with Seagal and Putin. I don’t think that’s too crazy of a request either. Some people dream of the white picket fence, or getting promoted to company president, I dream of being in a three-way friendship with Putin and Seagal.

PS
Isn’t Physical Education Awareness for today’s youth Michelle Obama’s thing? What the fuck is her deal? She had Seagal this whole time and she’s been sitting on her dick doing nothing? Guess she just couldn’t handle 300 pounds of pure steel.