What'd You Do This Weekend? Because Putin Basically Caught The Biggest Fish In The World
(Newser) – How’s this for a fish story: In the latest episode of Vladimir Putin’s ongoing rugged outdoorsman fantasy adventure series, the Russian president, clad in a camouflage jacket and hat, appears to catch a massive pike. “Vladimir Vladimirovich, be careful, she can bite,” an aide warns, as Putin lifts the flopping fish from a net, according to the LA Times‘ translation. “I will bite her myself,” Putin replies, before kissing the thing. “She’s a beauty.”
Russia’s defense minister, who was on the trip, says the fish weighed between 26.4 and 33 pounds, but a Putin spokesman pegs the weight at 46.3 pounds. Russian bloggers are for some reason a tad skeptical. Several have posted images of bigger fish they’ve caught themselves that have weighed far less. “They must have forgotten to unfreeze the pike,” one social network post quipped. Another wrote, “The Kremlin must have weighed the pike the way they count the votes.”
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Fucking Putin. Just catching the biggest fish in the world and kissing it right on the lips, nbd, just another day in the life I guess. What I don’t understand though are these bloggers calling him out. What’s up with that? Like do they understand that Putin will 100% have them murdered now. Fuck I’m pretty sure Putin might have me murdered too. Just kill all of the world’s bloggers because one of them made fun of his fish. Read a book idiots, Putin doesn’t play those games. If he says he caught the biggest fish he caught the biggest fish. If he says Bob Kraft gave him a Super Bowl ring Bob Kraft gave him a Super Bowl ring. You want to die? Die on your own time, but don’t get Vladdy Daddy pissed at the world’s web loggers. I have enough stress in my life eating 2,000 daily calories of skittles and trying to make the NFL.
