To Say I'm Nervous For My First Doctor's Appointment In 10 Years Would Be An Understatement

So I have a doctor’s appointment for the first time in a decade. I finally sacked up and bought health insurance because I realized that it’s not a question of will I hurt myself doing the Bro Show just a question of when. So I’m going in. A fat, out of shape blogger. I’m legit nervous. I don’t even know what they’re going to say. There’s a chance they may just put me down. Shoot me up with drugs and put me to sleep like an old dog. The biggest issue though is the question part. Do I be honest with my doctor or throw a few white lies in the mix? Like should I flat out tell him that I eat like shit, walk 100 feet a day, never get my heart rate over resting, and eat skittles by the truckload all the while still drinking like I’m in college or do I pretend that I’m a responsible adult? I’m just really scared that the big D word (diabetes) is going to be thrown around and next thing you know I’ll be eating cheerios and taking daily vitamins like a sucker.

PS

Are they going to touch my balls? I hope they don’t touch my balls.

Double PS

I really want to tape it but I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.