The Best Intern Application Thus Far

Red Highlight is mine

Tom D, so sly, didn’t want me to know his full name even though it was clearly in his email address and Gmail Signature. A+

Also got a stoolie sending me his DUI arrest sheet where he blew a .336. Same as our half man half machine from this morning. Not saying I condone this in the least, but that’s automatic second round.

All and all it was an unreal showing by the Stoolies. I got over 600 emails in the past 24 hours. I need an intern to find my intern. Good news bad news type of deal though. Good news because I’m sure I can get someone good, bad news because a lot of people will be turned away. Wish I could get more people involved at Barstool, I really do, but if we did that then we’d be Bleacher Report and no one would read us. So what I plan on doing is wittling it down to 10 people. I will let those 10 know by Friday at midnight. If you don’t hear from me by then, then you didn’t make the cut. Come the end of summer we’ll probably do this all again so its not like you’ve totally missed out on your chance. There will be others.

Thanks again for everyone who sent an email. Honestly, the reason why Barstool Sports is the best website on the internet is because the Stoolies are so passionate and loyal, and that really came through with this intern hunt.

PS
A little disappointed that out of 500 emails I didn’t get one pair of tits. Guess the “I love Barstool, you guys are the best” shit we get from the female Stoolies was all just a schtick.