So Remember Last Month When Kim Jong Un Killed His Uncle? Well Yeah, Turns Out He Did It By Feeding Him To A Pack Of Wild Dogs

BEIJING -- North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s powerful uncle was stripped naked, thrown into a cage, and eaten alive by a pack of ravenous dogs, according to a newspaper with close ties to China’s ruling Communist Party. The report could not be independently confirmed by NBC News on Friday. The man who was believed to be in charge of training his young nephew to take over was executed as a traitor, indicating a shake-up in Kim Jong Un’s regime. NBC’s Andrea Mitchell reports. Jang Song Thaek, who had been considered Kim’s second-in-command, was executed last month after being found guilty of “attempting to overthrow the state,” North Korea’s state-run news agency reported.

The official North Korean account on Dec. 12 did not specify how Jang was put to death. Hong Kong-based pro-Beijing newspaper Wen Wei Po reported that Jang and his five closest aides were set upon by 120 hunting hounds which had been starved for five days.  Kim and his brother Kim Jong Chol supervised the one-hour ordeal along with 300 other officials, according to Wen Wei Po. The newspaper added that Jang and other aides were “completely eaten up.”

I feel like I’m Seth Rogen in the Step Brothers fart scene right now. Ok Kim, now the tuxedo seems kind of fucked up. Now the faxes and Dennis Rodman and absurd pictures of you visiting things seems really fucked up. Inventing skiing? Fucked up. 120 hunting dogs? Real fucked up. I mean here’s the thing, we all think you’re an evil psycho path, that reputation is there, you own it. Your street cred is solidified. No one says oh that Kim Jong Un seems like a pretty nice guy, I wonder what he does for fun. We know the answer is most likely murdering people and feeding them to hungry dogs. So the point is, you don’t have to actually do these things anymore. Killing your uncle while you were black out drunk was more than enough. This is just excessive. You’re excessively psychotic. Dial it back a notch.

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PS

Obviously the first thought that came into my mind was that scene in Hannibal. This one.

Such an awful movie. It’s actually incredible how Silence of the Lambs and Red Dragon can be so awesome and Hannibal and Hannibal Rising can be so terrible.