Remember The Story A Few Months Ago About The Guy Jizzing In His Co-Worker's Coffee? Well Here's Our Guy
MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) — A 34-year-old Blaine man has pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge accusing him of ejaculating on a co-worker’s desk and in her coffee. More serious charges were dropped for Robert John Lind back in November 2014, when the Ramsey County courts found that there was not enough evidence to provide probable cause that his actions constituted felony criminal sexual conduct. So, the New Brighton City Attorney subsequently filed a misdemeanor charge of indecent exposure (engaging in lewd and indecent behavior). On Thursday, Lind plead guilty to that charge.
According to the criminal complaint, an employee at Beisswenger’s hardware store in New Brighton called police on Aug. 26, 2014, saying she thought Lind, her co-worker, was leaving bodily fluids on her desk. She told police that she had found Lind standing at her desk with his back turned toward her. Lind allegedly had both of his hands in front of him near his genitals. According to the original complaint, when Lind noticed the woman he looked at her with a “deer in headlights” expression and quickly went into another room. The woman told police she inspected her desk and noticed a strong odor that resembled urine, but was a bit different and strange. She said her coffee smelled the same way and noted that she had had an ongoing issue with a experiencing a foul taste in her coffee.
On Aug. 28, 2014, Lind met with police. Lind told police that he liked his female coworker and was attracted to her. He admitted to ejaculating on her desk and into her coffee on Aug. 26. According to the criminal complaint, Lind denied ejaculating into her coffee out of revenge because she had threatened to report his behavior.
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Now maybe this is just some confirmation bias at work but that is exactly what I pictured this guy to look like. That guy right there, that is 100% the type of guy that cums in his co-worker’s coffee because he has a crush. Rose tinted glasses, greasy hair, face too big for his face, yup, that’s our guy, that’s the one.
As for the crime, I still think as gross as it may be it at least gets you noticed. You can live your entire life being the guy in the office with the crush he never talks about. Or, you can take a wild shot, ejaculate into some coffee and hope sparks fly. A risk? Definitely. But at least you took your shot right?
