Oh Cool, Another Giant Snake Washed Up On The California Shore

The appearance of two rare sea serpents washing ashore beaches on the Southern California coast in the past week has prompted fears it could be a sign that a natural catastrophe is coming. The giant oarfish were dead when they washed up on land, and some scientists believe they come ashore to die because they are ‘in distress’. The first sea monster, measuring 18 feet, was discovered by a woman snorkelling off the coast of Catalina Island on October 13. It took 16 people to drag it up onto the beach.

So basically what these giant snakes are telling us is that they washed up on shore because they were distressed which is essentially code for everyone is fucked and the world is crumbling. It’s like when your dog starts acting funny before a big storm. Sea snakes kill themselves when the earth is about to explode. Got it. Thanks for clearing that up guys. At least I live in the middle of the country so I’ll be the last today, that’s kind of comforting.

Loved this picture. Ummm, that’s a rope guys.