NFL Monday Morning Rewind
Just a reminder, it’s week 4, we’re now 1/4th of the way done with the season, we’ve eaten more party sub than you realize. Cherish the NFL season, cuddle it and kiss it and love it. That is all.
The Games…
Ravens 20 (2-2), Bills 23 (2-2)
Oh Shit, did we do it? Did we? You bet your fucking ass we did.
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Bengals 6 (2-2), Browns 17 (2-2)
The Browns won!!! Also, they have the largest fan in the history of the world, soooo double win?
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Bears 32 (3-1), Lions 40 (3-1)
And the roll of the Chicago Bears will be played by Ndamukong Suh getting belly bumped by Nick Fairley
Giants 7 (0-4), Chiefs 31 (4-0)
KC fan rocking the greatest look of all time.
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Steelers 27 (0-4), Vikings 34 (1-3)
Gene Simmons rocked England’s face off.
Then Adrian Peterson did this
And Big Ben did this
Also, the Steelers are officially now the team I bet on every week thinking they’ll turn it around. I thought it was going to be the Giants but they’re so bad even my idiotic brain can figure it out. But the Steelers? They’re just good enough to stay in games and just bad enough to never cover a spread. Should be a great time.
Cardinals 13 (2-2), Bucs 10 (0-4)
Turns out, Mike Glennon? Also not the answer.
Schiano needs to go Opposite George on us. Whatever you feel, do the opposite, because not one single decision you have made thus far has helped your NFL head coaching career. What do you have to lose? Your job? Oh no wouldn’t want that to happen Greg, how will you ever survive getting fired even though its about to happen literally at any minute.
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Colts 37 (3-1), Jaguars 3 (0-4)
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No but seriously, why not?
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Seahawks 23 (4-0), Titans 20 (2-2)
No one makes JJ Watt bleed his own blood except maybe JJ Watt so he can show you how much he BLEEDS. #HARDCORE
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Equals Steve Lattimer
Also Matt Schaub, not that good.
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Jets 13 (2-2), Titans 38 (3-1)
The Jets physically can not stop being the Jets
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Eagles 20 (1-3), Broncos 52 (4-0)
Wait, didn’t the Broncos running backs just do thi…, ohhhhhh, I seeee, Got Em Rick!
I don’t know if Peyton Manning is cheating or not, but if he is, he should probably stop because Troy Madden is officially on the case.
And Pat Bowlen’s wife is extremely handsome.
Redskins 24 (1-3), Raiders 14 (1-3)
First one to not suck all the time wins
Cowboys 21 (2-2), Chargers 30 (2-2)
When the Chargers play the Cowboys it’s just a race to see who makes the more typical Chargers/Cowboys back breaking play last. The Cowboys won that race.
Also, Philip is JACKED UP!
Patriots 30 (4-0) , Falcons 23 (1-3)
Oh well this is kind of awkward.
