Monday Morning NFL Rewind Brought To You By Directv - NFC

Big Cat12/01/2014 5:20 PM

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The Playoff picture is coming in to focus!

The games…

Bengals 14, Buccaneers 13

We’re 3 seconds into NFL Sunday, has Andy Dalton thrown a pick yet? Stupid Question, of course he has.

Warming up.

Scorching Hot Dalton

As you can imagine this game was not easy on the eyes. 10-7 at half, 14-13 final, Josh McCown and Andy Dalton in a quarterback duel that no one on this planet asked for or wanted to see. But, it did give us one of the best GIFs of the day, and that was Mike Evans Murdering Terrance Newman on the football field. Tough year for Terrance.

So what ended up happening in this game? Well you won’t believe it but a game featuring Marvin Lewis and Lovie Smith came down to a coaching Gaffe. A 12 men on the field penalty that was only called after Marvin Lewis threw the challenge flag under 2 minutes, which is illegal, but paused the game and allowed the refs to go back and look at the tape.

So in summation we had a total of 4 interceptions, 27 points, and a stupid backbreaking penalty that cost one team the game, in other words, exactly what you would expect from a Bengals/Buccaneers game.

Raiders 0, Rams 52

This is a show don’t tell type of game. I could tell you that the Rams beat the Raiders 52-0 or that the Rams were leading at halftime 38-0 but you wouldn’t understand what this beatdown really meant. So instead I will show you the game in 2 GIFS.

GIF 1

Shaun Hill running the slowest naked boot of all time, completely untouched to the endzone.

GIF 2

The triumphant return of Matt Schaub

Losers whine about their best, winners go home and fuck the prom queen.

I haven’t had a solid shit in 5 days.

Panthers 13, Vikings 31

Hey Minnesota, how’s that outdoor football going?

Way to be a narc Mike.

During the game they cut to the sideline reporter who said the Vikings thought they had seen a weakness in the Panthers punt protection during the week and intended to take advantage of that. And that turned out to be the understatement of the Century.

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Oh and the Panthers are still alive in the playoff picture because nothing make sense.

Cardinals 18, Falcons 29

And just like everyone thought, the 4-7 Falcons would beat the 9-2 Cardinals.

With no Roddy White yesterday was the Julio Jones show. 10 catches for 189 yards and a touchdown.

Wait, I take that back, it was also the “Devin Hester is still not a Wide Receiver” show.

And the “Mike Smith you’re safe for now but you’re too dumb to even realize you were ever in trouble in the first place” show.

Patriots 21, Packers 26

The game of the week lived up to the hype and if you had to sum it up for Patriots fans with one GIF it would be this.

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Or maybe this.

Toss up. Who would you rather try to tackle, Blount or Gronk? I honestly don’t know the answer to that one, both are animals that LOVE contact.

In the end though Aaron Rodgers made his usual unbelievable plays

and iced the game after a missed Gostowski Field Goal.

Do I feel slightly vindicated after ranting and raving to Pres that Rodgers was the best Quarterback in the NFL all year? Yes, a little, but I still hate his guts. I hate him because he’s so fucking good and there is nothing anyone can do about it. It’s a hate that comes from a silent resignation. Sometimes life isn’t fair. Now show me that one picture I will cling to for the rest of time. Ah yes, there it is. Serenity Now. Anyone but the Packers.