Michael Jordan's Super Sperm Gives Birth To Twins

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) — Michael Jordan has more to be happy about than just the improved play of his NBA franchise.His wife, Yvette, has given birth to the couple’s identical twin daughters, Jordan’s spokeswoman Estee Portnoy told The Associated Press.Portnoy said Tuesday night Yvette Jordan, 35, gave birth to Victoria and Ysabel on Sunday in West Palm Beach, Fla.

“Yvette Jordan and the babies are doing well and the family is overjoyed at their arrival,” Portnoy said.Jordan is the owner of the NBA’s Charlotte Bobcats, who are currently the eighth seed in the Eastern Conference and have a chance to make the postseason for the first time since he took over as majority owner in 2010. Jordan, who turns 51 next Monday, married former model Yvette Prieto on April 27 of last year in Palm Beach, Fla. The reception took place at a private golf club in Jupiter, Fla., designed by Jack Nicklaus. Jordan owns a home near the course.

The couple met six years ago. Jordan has three children — two sons, Jeffrey Michael and Marcus James, and a daughter, Jasmine — with former wife Juanita Vanoy. They divorced in 2006. Jordan won six NBA championships with the Chicago Bulls and was a 14-time All-Star and five-time league MVP.

You know how people are always like “I don’t care what gender we give birth to, as long as the children are happy and healthy”. Yeah, bullshit. I know this may sound a little obsessive but I needed boys. I need another boy Jordan that comes back to the NBA and murders everyone. Is that weird? Probably a little bit, but it’s also honest. If you haven’t at one point fantasized about Michael Jordan’s offspring somehow being better than MJ then you’re lying. We did it with Jeffrey when he went to Illinois, Marcus is sort of an idiot, and now we need another one. So congrats Yvette and Michael! Now get back to work and give the world what we want, Michael Jordan Jr., 20 time All Star, 10 time NBA Champion for the Chicago Bulls.

PS

Obviously MJ doesn’t care because he’s rich beyond belief but how devastating would it be to have twin girls when you expected one kid? I can’t even imagine. It’s like when the dealer is showing a 6 to your 20 and then flips over a 5 and hits a 10 for 21. A kick in the balls and a shovel to the face.