Kim And Kanye Explain Their Baby's Name, Blow Everyone's Mind

(Newser) – Still chortling over Kim Kardashian and Kanye West naming their baby North West? Well, the couple would like you to stop. They’ve been explaining to friends that the name has nothing to do with the direction “northwest,” sources tell TMZ. Their explanation: “What’s north of North? Nothing.” In other words, as TMZ helpfully decodes, the baby is the highest point of their relationship and their “north star.”

Meanwhile, tabloids are bickering over whether Kim and Kanye are engaged. The Sun claims West proposed to Kim, sans ring, days after she gave birth and has ordered a $768,000 tiger-striped diamond engagement ring as a “push present.” (Apparently a growing, delightfully named trend.) But sources tell People and Celebuzz the rumor isn’t true. Though, says one source, “I can’t imagine them not getting married. That’s in their future!”

What’s North of North? Nothing. Whoa.

At first I thought naming your kid a direction on the map was a total douchebag move but Kim and Kanye sort of have a point. Like is North of North just more North? Or once you get North do you just hit nothing? Did they just find the end of the universe? Go North and when you hit the Northern most point, stop because there is no more North. Crazy deep. It’s like Aristotle and Plato had a baby and named it a direction and then blew all of our minds. Yeah you could say that if you have to explain your baby’s name to literally everyone on earth because its so fucking dumb then you’re probably an asshole, but at the same time, I get it now, and I can’t help but be supremely impressed. What’s cooler than cool? Ice Cold. What’s more north than north? Nothing.

Also, push present? Like you have to give your wife a present for having a baby? Jesus.