In Case You Missed It (You Definitely Missed It) The Cubs Played For A Million Innings Last Night And Almost Won.
Fuck you Tony Sanchez even though you’re a stoolie.
Did you go to bed at a normal hour? Do you not watch a team that is destined for 100 losses? Do you have better things to do than be a Cubs Fan? Well then this blog is for you. Big time game last night. Number 2 of 162. 16 inning madness in front of about 3,000 people. So obviously it is the talk of the town this morning. I mean the Cubs ALMOST won. You know how hard that is? So if you didn’t watch, here’s what you missed so you don’t feel out of the loop.
-Is Emilio Bonifacio back? You bet your fucking ass he is. 5 for 7 last night, 9 hits in two games. Pirates were so scared they even intentionally walked him at one point. Emilio Bonifacio and Barry Bonds, last 2 guys I remember that demand an intentional walk on pure skill alone.
-Hey Big Cat, what about Starlin Castro? I bet he had like a million hits last night. Well, about that. Starlin has still not gotten a hit this season. Looks absolutely lost at the plate (smallest of small sample sizes), and made a pretty nice Starlin error in the field. But fear not, the Cubs play again in 3 hours (wish I were joking), and he’ll probably catch fire.
-Did the Cubs do any awesome shit where they had 5 infielders at once?
Sure as fuck did. Early report on Rick Renteria, not a total buffoon, so that’s progress.
– 1 for 27. What’s that you ask? Just the Cubs batting with runners in scoring position. I’m not an advanced stat guy but that doesn’t seem good. 3 runs in 26 innings and 1 for 27. Think there’s room for improvement.
-This guy being a road game vet with the ear plugs. Hear what you want to hear, block out the h8ers.
-Any YABO’s? Dumb question, of course there were YABOS (there was only one and it was our first one of the season)
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-Veras came in after this he looked a lot like Carlos Marmol. Threw a TON of pitches, a lot of balls, a couple of hits, and then with the bases loaded and a full count threw a slider to Andrew McCutchen that was absolutely filthy. If he threw him that pitch 100 times McCutchen would miss it 100 times without a doubt. He should be a fun ride.
-We also got some serious titties.
-And some bro’s going beast mode on some after midnight Ice Cream.
This is love.
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-And then we lost in the 16th inning. Still haven’t lost in regulation so that’s kind of sweet, and yes, this tweet really hit home.
Investing this time in a Cubs game and knowing they’ll lose is the reason people make fun of Cubs fans @BarstoolBigCat. Yet we still watch
— Marty Lavelle (@martyLAHVelle) April 3, 2014