I'm In Love With This Chick That Got Arrested For A DUI And Had 13 Cans Of Whipped Cream In Her Car

Big Cat6/03/2015 1:42 PM

(Source) A Tennessee woman was charged with driving under the influence after she crashed her car into a man’s mailbox last week. Her drug of choice? Whipped cream.

As the wrecked mailbox’s owner told WKRN:

“I was putting dishes in the dishwasher getting ready to go to go to work when all of a sudden I heard this extremely loud boom,” said Craig Lynch, owner of the destroyed mailbox. “I actually thought a transformer had exploded.”

The driver, 28-year-old Anna Thomas, was found dazed at the scene and police recovered a whopping 13 empty cans of whipped cream in her car. It’s suspected that she used the aerosol in the whipped cream containers to get high, leading to the crash. There was also evidence that Thomas had driven her car into a ditch in a previous incident shortly before the crash.

As mailbox owner Craig Lynch told WKRN:

“They started pulling out bottles of whip cream and they started sitting them on the car and they essentially ran out of room,” said Lynch.

The incident marked Thomas’ sixth DUI charge since 2006.

P-A-R-T-Y PARTY. That’s all I could think of when I saw this chick and her cute little mugshot and a car full of whip cream cans. It feels like every other day we have a new drug of choice. Just a month ago there was that Flakka drug that made you go insane, or last year all those weirdos in Joliet were injecting themselves with the flesh eating Krokodil shit. Basically the drug game in 2015 has become a constant arms race to one up the next person on how crazy and wild you can get. Which is why I absolutely love Anna Thomas. This may make me the Mitch Albom or Mike Lupica of the drug game but I’ll say it anyway, I love this old school stuff. This is laying it up when you could have dunked, this is 4 yards and a cloud of dust, this is adhering to the old business rule KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid). So yeah, is it probably not the best that this is Anna Thomas’ SIXTH DUI in the past 9 years? I’ll give you that, won’t argue with you there. But don’t you dare tell me you aren’t at least a little turned on and don’t want to party with Anna Thomas. Because that would make you a liar, and the only thing worse than a person addicted to Whip-Its and DUI’s is a liar.

You know how I know I’m fat. Took one look at her car and said, Peanut Butter M&M’s, fuck yeah. Top 5 Candy in the game.