How Does North Korea Know They’re In Economic Trouble? Kim Jong Un Can’t Find Any Virgins To Fuck

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(Source) Kim Jong Un is having a tough time finding virgins, reports South Korean media site the Chosun Ilbo.Kim needs virgins for his dance troupes and “pleasure squads,” but growing starvation and poverty compell many women to sell themselves.

Virginity is a prerequisite for the song-and-dance troupes who entertain the North Korean dictator, and the defector said officials had a hard time finding any virgins. The U.S. has leveled crushing sanctions on North Korea, one following last year’s missile test and another this year following the nuclear test. The results have pushed an already impoverished North Korea deeper into poverty. The Ilbo reports that many of the women turn “to prostitution to earn a living or make money to buy cosmetics, mobile phones or cover their wedding costs.” As if a lack of virgins wasn’t enough of a symbol of the North’s crumbling stature, even the missiles they parade around appear to be fake.

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Out of all the stories to come out of North Korea this has to be the craziest. Not like crazy in that it’s so hard to imagine, crazy in the fact that North Korea is legitimately like a different planet. A completely different world stuck on Earth. Virgin shortage, that is their indicator of economic trouble. America had the Real Estate bubble burst, Europe had the debt crisis and North Korea? Well they can’t find enough virgins to dance on Kim Jong Un’s sex team. Not enough untainted woemn to grind on his dick while he watches the 90’s Bulls on VHS. that’s how North Korea knows they’re in some serious shit, not the fact that everyone there is starving to death, nope, it’s the lack of virgins. Now what does Kim Jung Un do? Watch porn and jerk off? Yeah, something tells me that’s a limited resource as well.
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h/t james

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