Horny Pig Humps Neighborhood Slide Causing Strife Amongst Neighbors

I’m a big pig guy. I love pigs. I think they are flat out adorable. My wife wants another dog, but I’d rather have a pig. I’d name him Roger and we’d take the internet by storm. But, that’s a discussion for another time.

This couple is going through the same type of disagreement it appears. Keith is jealous of the companionship that a pig provides while Kelsi is clearly on the fence on the trustworthiness of pigs which is outrageous. Now, truth be told, no one wants to see a pig humping a slide. Getting pig semen on a children’s slide is a sticky situation that no one wants to be in, but pigs gotta fuck too. I know that for sure. Pigs get horny. It’s nature.

While knowing that seeing pig masturbation for the first time can be jarring, I think that Kelsi is wrong about being concerned with a big who masturbates himself with the slide. Just because the pig humps a slide doesn’t mean he’s not trustworthy. I think he’s a good boy. Should he have waited until nightfall to jerk his little bacon dick? Absolutely. Should he have picked a different location to release the pressure that was building deep inside his pork balls? No question. But dont call him untrustworthy. Sit him down. Talk to him. Explain the boundaries. In other words, be a good neighbor. Have a heart for once, Kelsi. You might end up making a pretty great swine friend.

She later says that our pig pal is just a little plastic loving pervert. Apparently, he humps anything that’s plastic but I’m gonna leave that out of the story because it doesn’t do any good to know that. I dont want people to be soured on the idea of having a pig as a pet just because the pig might hump everything in your house that’s plastic to smithereens.