Florida Strip Club Closes Due To An Insane Amount of Fried Shrimp Induced Diarrhea

Several strippers at a popular Jacksonville, Florida strip club were unable to control their bowels while performing their pole routine after contracting diarrhea from a tainted buffet at the venue.

Witnesses at the club reported three dancers were performing on separate poles on stage when the first sign of trouble arose. According to an eyewitness who was close to the stage says he noticed a “bad smell” and thought the guy next to him farted. Next, he says he noticed the smell started to get worst as other guys around him began to look around to see where the smell was coming from.

He continues by saying that one of the dancers could no longer hold it. A stream of “brown liquid” was seen running down the stripper’s legs, then all of a sudden the brown liquid gushed all over the stage causing several customers to throw up while others ran towards the exit.

Folks, needless to say, this entire situation stinks. Can you imagine? One minute you’re getting a boner brewing in your britches and the next moment you’re squealing like a pig from the stinkiness of diarrhea. Talk about ruining the long weekend.

Our pals were there to see some tits and some twerking. What they got to see was a little bit of what the French call a Cleveland Steamer. Now, some say that Cleveland Steamers are actually good while others contend that they are actually bad. The truth is somewhere in the middle.

I do feel for the for the customers, though. Explaining your glitter covered face to your wife can be extremely difficult. Explaining why you smell like Victoria Secret’s Love Spell, fried shrimp, and diarrhea can be downright impossible. No one deserves that.

Let’s all learn something here. When you’re eating at the strip club buffet, let’s skip out on the seafood. Although fried shrimp is certainly delicious, and getting your belly full while your dick swells is certainly appealing, stick to pancakes and bacon, especially if you’re performing a move that requires you to hike up your skirt a little more and show your world to me.