Finding A Favorite Golfer: Andrew Beef Johnston
I’ve recently gotten into golf. I find myself falling down these rabbit holes on Youtube or Instagram and I end up just consuming everything. I even joined a course. “There goes Chaps with a golf membership. Never thought I’d see the day. Hope he knows about picking out divots on the green. He skies it. He might make the greenskeeper’s life a living hell.” I do. Got a new pick last week and I’m learning etiquette as I go.
Anyway, I find myself on the couch on Saturday and Sunday watching the weekend’s final rounds. I’ll be honest with you; I don’t know the technical side of golf at all. I don’t know which guys are great at hitting greens and regulation. I don’t know a lot of the terminology. I just really like golf right now.
I don’t really have anyone to root for. That stinks. I mean, sure. I could pick a dude like Jordan or Rory or Ricky. Those are easy. I wanna pick a dude who doesn’t have the overwhelming galleries following him around every single weekend. So, I’m gonna pick a few dudes each week until the end of July and then make my pick.
Advertisement
First up is Beef Johnston. I like the cut of his jib. He seems like a funny dude with a shitty beard which I respect.
I like my golfers to not have a stick in their bums and there is seemingly no stick anywhere on or around Beef’s anus. He seems like he has a good time out there and just enjoys his moment.
Beef is a fantastic nickname, too. I could picture myself out with the boondoggle boys. We’d be on the tee watching my guy Beef laser it down the middle. I’d scream BEEF AND MASHED POTATOES! A SENSIBLE MEAL! It’d go viral as fuck and get a raise or something. Sounds dope.
Now for the golf part, his world golf ranking is 116 which isn’t great. For those keeping score at home, that’s 115 spots out of first place. I wanna be able to watch my player on most Sundays. Not sure if Beef is there yet. Also, he’s British. As a known America lover, can I shock the world and go with a British golfer? What would happen in the Ryder Cup? Man.
That being said, it’s gonna be tough to top Beef. After one player review, he’s certainly the leader in the clubhouse. BEEEEFFFFFFFF