Does Anything Derail A Day Worse Than Losing Your Keys?

So I lost my keys. I have searched through my entire palatial 700 sq ft apartment and I can’t find them anywhere. And I have to say, in terms of “white people” or “1st world” problems, losing your keys might be number 1. I’m lucky enough that I don’t really have to leave my house, like ever, but the thought of knowing my keys are somewhere inside my apartment yet I don’t know where exactly, is absolutely maddening. I’ve gotten to the point now where I’m pretty close to just giving up. Resigning myself to hermit life. Never leave my apartment again. People will be like, hey what ever happened to Big Cat, and the response will be, oh he lost his keys back in April 2013, hasn’t left his house since. Honestly, what’s worse? Traffic? Train breaking down? I feel like those things, as maddening as they may be, at least have an explanation. A car broke down, a person fell on the tracks, blah blah blah. Whereas keys are just, I fucking suck at life and I’m a child trapped in a man’s body and I have no one to blame but myself. Losing your keys is the fucking worst, and I’m balls deep in it right now.

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PS
Before anyone says, Hey Big Cat, ever think about having a spare set of keys for this type of situation? Just remember, I’m the guy who just quit his full time real world job to blog for Dave Portnoy, contingency plans aren’t exactly my thing.