Black Unicorn Calls Trestman Willy Wonka Because He’s A Genius, No One Disagrees Because He Is

IMG_5455 IMG_2713



LAKE FOREST, Ill. — There are no golden tickets, chocolate rivers or fizzy lifting drinks to be found at the Chicago Bears‘ practice facilities, but that didn’t stop tight end Martellus Bennett from drawing a parallel between coach Marc Trestman and Willy Wonka. Speaking during ESPN 1000’s The Jay Cutler Show on Tuesday, Bennett expressed his appreciation for Chicago’s new coach.

“I think me and Coach Trestman are probably the only two people who understand each other,” Bennett said. “I always say Coach Trestman reminds me of the first Willy Wonka. Not the Johnny Depp one. The Johnny Depp one was really cool, but the first one before that, the 1943 version.” Actually, the adaptation Bennett referred to is the 1971 film “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” starring Gene Wilder. Depp starred in another adaptation of the movie in 2005.

Gene Wilder’s 1971 portrayal of Willy Wonka makes the Bears’ Martellus Bennett think of coach Marc Trestman, who he says is a genius, just like Wilder’s character. “He’s a genius,” Bennett said of Trestman. “A lot of times when you’re around really, really smart people, you don’t really understand them.
I like it, If Trestman will lead the Bears to the promised land of Chocolate rivers and Candy Cane trees then Willy Wonka it is. You can really call him whatever you want though, as long as he keeps calling plays and giving us an offense that can actually win games late I don’t care what his nickname is. In Trestman we trust.
As for Martellus Bennett. He is a certified piece. Every time he talks he says something hilarious/interesting. Giants fans told me that when the Bears signed him he would be awesome to follow week in and week out and so far I have not been disappointed. So naturally, a guy like that deserves a shirt. Cutty and the Unicorn (Big Cat stop trying to sell shirts and actually pay your rent on time for once you douchebag). Look if you don’t want to buy it don’t buy it, but I know you do, so do.
Login error messages.

- OR -

Enter your email address to reset your password.

Login error messages.

Update your Username

Update your Password