As One Would Expect, 13 Pounds Of Horse Testicles Were Hidden Inside Juice Boxes At Dulles

CHANTILLY, Va. (AP) — Customs and Border Protection agents have seized 42 pounds of horse meat, including 13 pounds of horse genitals, from two women arriving from Mongolia at Dulles International Airport in Virginia.

The horse meat was hidden in juice boxes. One of the women said the horse genitals were for medicinal purposes.

CBP announced the seizures Thursday; the meat was seized on Jan. 29.

Neither woman was criminally charged.

Three liters of yak milk was also seized and incinerated, along with the horse meat.

CBP says horse meat is prohibited from entering the U.S. without an official certification due to fears of foot-and-mouth disease. Mongolian horse meat is always prohibited because of concerns about diseases.

I am sick of this shit. Everywhere I look now these horse testicles stories are popping up. What gives? I’ll tell you what gives. Stew. People fucking love stew. The good people of Mongolia arent smuggling in horse meat and balls for no reason. Horse balls are a cash cow and the reason is stew. You throw a couple pounds of horse balls into your Sunday afternoon stew and your whole family will be over the moon.

“Damn, Chaps! What’s in the stew today!?”

“Horse balls, brother! Love you!”

“I love you, too!”

I haven’t said I love you to my brother in fucking years and now I have and it’s all because these brave women dared to shove 13 pounds of horse testicles into some juice boxes and trek their sexy asses from Mongolia to Dulles on an airplane. Incredible story of family, hope, and delicious stew. Wow.