Yo This Dude CANNOT Stop Fucking Pool Toys

HAMILTON, Ohio —A man with a previous record of public indecency was arrested Wednesday morning, accused of performing sexual acts on a pool float for a third time Police said Edwin Tobergta, 35, was seen having simulated sex with a pink life raft on Route 4 at about 8 a.m. Witnesses said Tobergta was nude and in view of nearby businesses and passing cars. According to police records, Tobergta was arrested for similar crimes in 2011 and 2013. In 2011, he was accused of having sex with his neighbor’s pool float and was convicted of public indecency. After Tobergta’s 2011 arrest, a family member said Tobergta has mental issues and needed help. It’s not known if he has undergone treatment. In 2013, Tobergta was accused of stepping out of his home, naked, and “having sexual relations with a pool float” within the view of children. He pleaded guilty to to public indecency and was sentenced to 11 months in prison. He was released in May 2014.

This is the third time Edwin Tobergta has been featured on Barstool, as it’s the third time he’s been caught fucking pool rafts. And you know what I think? I think we’re looking at one of the most romantic stories of our generation. It’s officially some Romeo and Juliet shit. No one wants to see Edwin and his pool floats together but he’s not letting that get in the way. He loves two things in this world: he loves pool toys, and he loves fucking in public. I don’t think it’s a reach to say that Ed loves fucking pool toys in public more than I’ve ever loved another person. Because if I ever get arrested for a girl, we’re probably done after that. If I got arrested twice for a girl, we’re definitely done. But Tobergta is wearing cuffs for the third time in the name of love and I’ll bet dollars to donuts he goes running back to those floaties with open arms just as soon as they post bail. That’s a love story and if you can’t see the romance in that then you just don’t know what love looks like.