When You Give The Finger Are You A Thumb Up Or A Thumb Down Guy?

This is something that’s been bothering me since yesterday when I noticed the juxtaposition in Boston middle fingers directed at the Senators’ celebration, should you go thumb out or thumb down when flipping the bird? I asked everyone around the office to give me the finger and it’s exactly 50/50 for who does what.

Personally, I’ve always been a thumb out guy. But upon seeing the side-by-side I think I’ve realized the err of my ways. Idk if it’s because I’m just a really nice guy so I’m never angry enough to give the closed fist finger, but it’s undoubtedly the more powerful hand gesture. I have small, gross, Trump hands anyway so no matter what I choose my finger is about as intimidating as a baby’s dick, but I still think I’d have more luck if I went with the fist. The thumb out is just too playful and casual. It’s a friendly, haha move. But the closed fist? That’s saying “I’m so mad I could punch you in the fucking teeth right now, but I’m civilized so I’ll leave a finger up and show it in your general direction to represent my disdain.”

So I’d like to announce that I will be changing my middle finger usage. I’m a closed first guy.

PS – While we’re on this, wouldn’t the ultimate fuck you be also leaving your ring finger up? Think about it, you utilize both when you really want to finger a girl. Seems to me that it should convert to motherfucking someone you hate. Just spitballing here but it makes sense.