When Bonds And Clemens Don't Get Elected Today It's Going To Be A Screw Job For The Ages

Possibly two of the biggest assholes in history, definitely two of the greatest players in history. There’s no disputing that. Doesn’t matter to the Baseball Writers of America though, because Bonds and Clemens did a few drugs during a portion of their career and were never nice to them. The BBWA is your grandfather. They’re old, white and crotchety. Technology and change scares them. They’re just racist enough that while they don’t say the N word, they’re a riot to hear comment on a boisterous black person. They say things like “character matters to me.” What I’m saying is that time has passed both the BBWA and your grandfather by.

You’ll be hard-pressed to find someone under 35 that would say I cheated in college because I occasionally took an Adderall before a test. But I bet Tim Kurkijan will tell you I did. It’s actually insane that this is even still a debate. Steroids were banned during a majority of their careers, yes. But there was no formal testing. No one was caught red handed. Speeding on the highway is banned too but if I don’t see and cops and I’m trying to get somewhere really important, guess what, I’ll probably hit 85 and won’t get a ticket. Millions and millions of dollars versus getting cut counts as somewhere important. If baseball actually cared then they would have implemented testing immediately, not sent out a memo. It’s unfair to punish these guys now for the league’s laziness.

And the BBWA can save me the tears about “but where do we draw the line?! Who gets in and who doesn’t?!” Same as every other ballot you’ve filled out, idiots. Is it seriously that hard? Fill out your ballot exactly like you have for the last 1,000 years. Best players get in, the others don’t. So the very few totally clean players had to play against guys on steroids. Probably the second hardest aspect of their career behind playing black guys. Am I right, Babe?

Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens are first ballot Hall of Famers. Anybody who saw them play or knows how to read a stat line can tell you that.

PS – ever have your grandfather yell at you when you try and look up an answer on your phone? “Use your brain!” mine tells me. I bet Buster Olney does that too. Not sure why I thought of that, but I did.