This Kid Is Gonna Have A BLAST In College

Alright listen, I don’t know if this kid was being serious or not.  I really don’t know.  I’m saying it’s real because it’s so absurd that no one would even think to even ask a question like this.  Like getting a bad reputation and being the kid who doesn’t like to party in college is worse than being labeled a snitch in the mafia.  That’s why there’s no way this kid would risk the chance of people even thinking about taking it seriously even if he was just joking.  Seeing that I’ve deemed it real, this kid is gonna have a BLAST in college.  Nothing gets the party started like walking into an apartment or house and asking ”  Is this a sober party?  Is there alcohol at this party?  Because if there is I can’t drink it because I’m only 18.”  TURN DOWN FOR WHAT.  Those are the questions that make you the most popular kid on campus and the guy all the girls want to fuck.

Seriously though.  This kid is in for a rude awakening.  Smash cut to 18 months from now and this goes one of two ways.  He either commits to his under-18 sobriety and has no friends.  Or he’s the never-drank-in-high-school-turned-borderline-alcoholic-party-animal-in-college-becasue-it-was-all-too-much-too-fast kid.  No in between.

Also, kids like this being admitted to the University of Iowa is why the school lost it’s #1 party school ranking to fucking Syracuse.  I actually wouldn’t put it past U of Iowa president Sally Mason to go out of her way to get kids like this.  Kids love when their school is ranked #1, school president’s don’t.

h/t @BarstoolIowaSt