This Is Why I Refuse To Get Old: 91 Year Old Woman Wakes Up In The Morgue After Being Pronounced Dead

WARSAW, Poland – A Polish doctor says she has been in “deep shock” since learning that a 91-year-old woman she pronounced dead woke up in a morgue several hours later. The doctor — identified in the media as Wieslawa C. — said on TVN24 television Friday that she was sure the patient was dead after finding “no basic life functions” during a morning house call on Nov. 6. She said she checked for a pulse on a forearm and neck arteries, listened for a heartbeat and the sound of breathing, and checked the pupils for reaction to light, but found none. “If I had had doubts, I would have called the ambulance, done an electrocardiogram, but I was sure that the patient is dead,” the doctor said. The doctor examined the elderly woman, identified by the media as Janina Kolkiewicz, in the eastern town of Ostrow Lubelski after relatives noticed she was not breathing. Some two hours after she was pronounced dead the woman was taken to the morgue. Shortly before midnight, an undertaker who brought in another body noticed that Kolkiewicz was moving inside a bag she had been placed in. Once it was opened, she complained of being cold and asked for hot tea, the media said. She was then taken home.

I bet this is pretty much a weekly occurance for this woman. Takes a nap during her afternoon stories, everyone assumes she’s dead, wakes up in a body bag and the undertaker is just like “Ah, still not dead, huh? OK, I’ll give you a ride home. See you next week.” It’s just part of being old. Always wake up from naps with people checking your pulse or putting their ear to your chest to make sure you’re breathing. That can’t be any fun. To be so close to death that whenever you rest your eyes people think you finally kicked the bucket. So old that people don’t even try to wake you up because there’s a better chance they’re touching a dead person and that’s gross. Nana takes an extended nap? Yeah let’s just call the coroner, if I touch him and he’s cold it’s going to be so nasty, better to just have a professional come clean up.

PS – I will say that this could never happen with a grandfather. Granddads shake the very foundation of a house with their snoring, it’s a law. If gramps is napping, the whole neighborhood knows. Never gonna confuse a sleeping old man for a dead man.