The T-Shirt Game Is Off The Charts At The RNC
CLEVELAND- Everybody’s coming!
I’m going to be doing some small updates throughout the week followed by a big write-up on Friday thats going to be about 1000 words too long for most of you to read but here’s a recap of what I saw yetserday:
First impression of this city during convention week is that its a big jaywalking town and I love it. The only “crosswalk” you should care about is the one that happened on Good Friday. I asked a police officer about this and apparently theres a legal loophole that if you get a violation for illegal walking it gets dismissed if you tell the prosecutor it was a “crab dribble.”
Besides Ben Carson invoking Hillarys admiration for Beelzebub, lord of the underworld, things were kind of in a light mood around town. All the rallies were pretty low key except for a report that Black Lives Matter activists and the KKK started throwing bags of pee at each other, as one does. Reports werent clear on who was doing the throwing but based solely off my experience with rednecks, they will casually pee into a portable container on your basic Wendsday afternoon. Not taking sides, just connecting the dots. In additon to being a effective way to either convert your oponent to your way of thinking or make them leave, the bigger problem here is that now theres urine laying all over downtown Cleveland until the Cavs have another championship parade and they can get their fans to drink it all off the ground.
A big thing that struck me travelling around town is that Cleveland is fully taking advatage of the t-shirt game. Big upside to Trump merchandise is you cant fact-check a shit. Even though selling a shirt to someone in Ohio during the summertime is pretty much a lost cause these things are flying off the racks. Here’s a sampling of some of my favorites-
Its the details that count and having the 2nd amendment tattooed on his left instead of his right bare arm prevents this shirt from being great. Its good, but just shy of perfect. Rating: B+
Ok this one just kicks ass I dont care if your a Trump supporter or not. When you think of classic Republicanism you think Donald Trump and Abraham Lincoln. There are towns in the South that Honest Abe burned to the ground that would make this shirt their city flag thats how cool it is. American brotherhood is a rhythm section.Also nice to see Lincoln enjoying a performance by his American Cousin in piece this time. When you think about it Lincoln was the original headbanger. Rating: A+
Heres a good one just because I like drinking Pabst beer in a unironic fashion. Also this shirt is not afraid to go there big time. I’m a big “profanity on shirts in a public place” guy. Rating: B
Speaking of profanity in public this shirt seems like it might be a “too soon” type situation to wear this the day after coaliton forces killed 85 inncocent people in Syria that we thought were ISIS. Gonna be hot after Labor Day though. Rating: B-
And finally- a Donald Trump shirt for MEN
The extra mile the desinger went here is just incredible with the hair on the balls. The shirt for guys with truck nuts for when there not in the car. Its a nice little double entendre because 1. Hillary dosen’t have balls unless you count the jar that she keeps with Bills sack in it ever since 1999. Rating: A-
All shirts made in China