Ten Million Dollars To Anyone Who Can Tell Me What Auston Matthews Just Did With This Puck

I could watch this vine on a loop for the next 100 years. It’s both soothing and exciting, somehow? It’s an orgasm. That’s what it is. Makes me go “OH!” and “Ahhhhhhhh.” I don’t understand what he’s doing, I’ll never understand it because my little brain can’t comprehend how it’s even possible, but I can appreciate the fuck out of it. It’s like Spanish or Italian or French or any of those other love languages, I don’t have to comprehend what I’m hearing/seeing to understand it’s fucking beautiful.

PS – Quick little note: If you you’re not a fan of the NHL, become one now. I don’t beat the “hockey is great!!!!!” drum hardly ever, so heed my advice on this one. The talent that’s in the league, particularly young talent, and on the ice on a game-to-game basis right now is fucking hysterical. Between Matthews (see above), Patrik Laine at the other end of that ice who netted his first hat trick last night, Connor McDavid, Max Domi, David Pastrnak, Jack Eichel, Brad Marchand (not “young” but I’m still putting him here because it’s my blog and I do what the fuck I want) the league is in the best place it’s been in a very long time. Seriously, start watching. This isn’t a plea to like my sport, it’s a warning that if you have a brain you’ll check it out. As far as excitement goes the NHL is currently the anti-NFL.

They even let the players celebrate after goals!