So Manti Te’o is Gay Right?
Can we all talk about the giant pink elephant in the room for a second? Seriously this would have been my first question at the ND press conference last night. “So umm Manti Te’o is like gay right?” That’s exactly how I would have asked it too. Like he has to be. I mean there is no way you fake date a chick for a year and not realize she’s fake. That’s IMPOSSIBLE. You don’t meet her once? You skip her funeral. No red flags go up when she dies of Leukemia and then calls you up on the phone again 2 weeks later? Please. There is no chance in hell Manti Te’o wasn’t involved in this. Just like there is no way a heterosexual division 1 football stud would have a long distance relationship with a chick he’d never met. It’s preposterous. The only rational explanation is that him and Tuiasosopo are gay lovers and concocted this entire scheme. Why would they do that? Simple. To throw people off the scent. I mean I got to imagine being a gay Mormon football player at Catholic school like ND isn’t the easiest thing in the world. The best way to keep rumors at bay is have an imaginary girlfriend. And then when people start asking too many questions about her you just kill her off. Then nobody can say shit. You can’t question somebody who says their girlfriend just died from Leukemia. That’s like a free pass to stay in the closet for 2 years. I can just picture it now. Some ND frat kid being like “is Te’o gay? I never see him with chicks? NO ASSHOLE HIS GIRLFRIEND DIED OF LEUKEMIA! Fucking Brilliant.