Snowdicks Overwhelmed The Northeast Last Night

If yesterday afternoon you told me I’d be spending the rest of the day inundated with snowdick pictures, and grading them, I probably would have called you a liar. But alas, that’s what happened. My Twitter turned into RateMySnowDick.com. What can I say? This is the life I chose. Some days you spend looking for smokeshows and asses to guess, other days you spend grading frozen boners. Say what you will about it, but it’s never dull.

11. PC – Weak. Kinda like me standing in the bathroom after I get out of the shower. You look down, trying to find your dick, and once you spot it you’re overwhelmed with disappointment.

10. UNH – Double dicks, kinda gay.

9. URI – All about chode dicks down in North Kingston.

8. Wheaton – Like the dedication and use of props for arms. Dislike the fact that it looks like a giant dick is holding hands with a child snowman. Snowdicks = funny, pedophile snowdicks = creepy. There’s a line, Wheaton crossed it.

7. UCONN – Have to admire the dedication to detail. This guy gets that a dick without veins or pubes is just a dildo. And no matter what lesbian porn tries to tell you, a dildo just isn’t the same as a dick.

6. Quinnipiac – Love the Jules personalization. Definitely got him laid. A huge snowdick on the quad is a 21st century love story.

5. BU – Not the load you’d expect from a 60 yard ejaculating dick, and it may be shaped a bit funny. But when you start judging the shape and money shot of a 60 yard penis, you’re just nitpicking.

4. U. Maine – “Hey we made a snowdick, who wants to straddle it and pretend it’s theirs?” “Nah fuck that, let’s all blow it.”

3. Dayton – Just a triumphant bastard. No other way to put it.

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2. St. A’s – Another glorious boner. Bonus points for the horrified looks I imagine the monks giving it on their way to morning prayer.

1. Ithaca – Snowdicks got one upped to snowblowjob. I’m a money shot away from being able to get off to this, even if the girl is a little balding.