Russell Wilson And Ciara Finally Had Sex... Let's Check In On The Happy Couple

If there’s one thing in the world I absolutely love it’s making snap judgements about someone’s emotions based on a series of paparazzi shots, I’ve always been a book by the cover guy, and these are undoubtedly my favorite ones yet. You’d think they have that after-wedding, we’re finally a family glow? Well, you’d be wrong. You’d be dead fucking wrong. Russell Wilson is giving that thousand yard stare out the cab window at 3 AM because you had whiskey dick and put forth a subpar performance. One of those “Where to?” “I don’t care… anywhere but here,” looks. He’s scratching his head like he doesn’t know if he met god or the devil last night. The man is distraught. Ciara, on the other hand? Slightly in disbelief, slightly angry like one of the paparazzos asked “How was the sex?” and she’s trying not to yell “YOU KNOW GODDAMN WELL HOW THE SEX WAS!” She’s even got her phone out, texting her girlfriends telling them they were right all along, he was withholding the dick because he knew his dickgame was weak while she Googles annulments. Such an incredible series of photos, better than I could have ever asked for.