Russell Brand Says He Used To Think Of Anyone Else In the World When Fucking Katy Perry

(Source) Russell Brand made an off-color joke about his sex life with ex-wife Katy Perry during a recent stand-up routine at a show in London. “When you’re a monk, you’re not allowed to have sex with anyone,” Brand reportedly said. “When you’re married, it’s one person. That’s one more than a monk. It’s not that different.” To the 38-year-old comedian being married to one person is apparently no different than being celibate. He went on to quip that he would often have to fantasize about other women. “I’d be having sex thinking, ‘think of anyone, anyone else.'”

Oh you used to think of anyone besides Katy Perry during sex? K, one word…

And look I hate the overly macho guy who jumps on you and calls you gay because you don’t have exactly the same taste in women as he does. But here’s the thing: Katy Perry has huge tits. Tits are inherently feminine (although it’s not crazy for a guy to have a set). Therefore, if you need to think of someone else while Katy Perry’s tits are treating your face like a speedbag then you’re probably gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.