Reader Email - My Men's League Soccer Team Coach Wants Us To Start Jogging and Taking Turns Doing Team Laundry

Reader Email

Hey Pres,

Just got this email from our team captain for a men’s league soccer team in NYC. I thought you guys might enjoy. Best part might be the laundry duty. I will buy new clothes just so i don’t have to do my own laundry, there is no chance I am going to do someone else’s laundry for them. Don’t get me wrong, I want to win as much as the next guy, but this dude needs to relax…

Viva!

Email from team captain -

Hey guys,

Monday night’s game sucked, we lost 4- 0. Here are some factors that affected our game: 1) multiple players cancelled on the team last minute, 2) we were very unorganized as a group, 3) and we played against a team that was better than us in terms of fitness and skill. And while it all sounds pretty grim, the solutions may be simpler than we think:

1) Unless you have something going on at work or a family issue, there is no reason why the entire team should struggle due to anyone’s absence. In case you didn’t notice, we can’t even call someone to play for us last minute because we need to have the official t-shirt in order for them to play. To mitigate this risk, we will start doing the laundry as a team, with each player having laundry duties after each game.

2) In terms of organization, Chris said it best “we need to understand organization on the field. There was a lot of movement and covering for each other on Monday night – which is fine, but let’s player smarter not harder, especially against teams playing at a higher level than us. It will help us pull out results against good competition especially in this league.”

3) Individually, we all need to get in better shape and improve our touch. Just do a self assessment, are you as fit as those guys we played against on Monday? If the answer is no, you need to be running at least 3x a week. Are you as skilled as those players? If no, you need to be working on your soccer as well. I can assure you that if you missed Monday night’s game you need to work on both. We have no game this Monday so let’s use our bye week to work on ourselves: take care of injuries, improve on our fitness, and improve on our skill level.

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Lastly, we are looking for a solid forward. If you know of anyone who is as good as Cooley or better, get him in touch with me or Chris.

Cheers,
Luis

Imagine somebody actually taking this email seriously? Like “sorry honey can’t eat dinner tonight because I got to go for a 5 mile run and get in shape for my men’s indoor league soccer. Sorry Captain’s orders.” Or missing Monday Night football because it was your turn to do team laundry after the game. I mean that has to be absolute rock bottom for any human alive. I just can’t imagine anything more degrading than this. Like if you actually follow this guys orders I have 1 question for you. “Do You Have any Pride Danny!!!!

(Yes this entire blog was sort of an excuse to post this top 10 of all time youtube)