Oregon Is Opening A Strip Club With Exclusively Pregnant Dancers Because The Pacific Northwest Is Full Of Weirdos

Springfield, OR – Residents were shocked today to find out about a very unique kind of strip club opening in their neighborhood. The new club, which will be known as Baby Bumpers, is like any other strip club with one exception –all dancers are required to be at least 6 months pregnant. The club owner, 45-year-old Buck Jackson, is determined to make his new idea work. “Truth is, all you see in the clubs around here just a bunch of girls all sucked up lookin’ like Skeletor and sh*t. Personally, I like fat bottoms and healthy girls with a little meat on them. One night I was laying in bed watching some pregnant belly dancers on the TV, and the idea just hit me… Why not make a pregnant girl strip joint?” The building where Baby Bumpers will be opening, was once home to Andre Nickatina’s club known as Nikki’s Gentlemen’s Club on Main Street in Springfield, Oregon. The club is expected to open sometime before the new year. One lady in the neighborhood, who wished to remain anonymous, was actually pretty happy about the idea. “Hey, way I see it is with the tough economy, any opportunity for a pregnant girl just trying to put food on the table for her and her baby is a good one!” the woman told That Oregon Life.

You know, at first I was going to make fun of this, but it’s important to corner niche markets. Basically no one drinks non-alcoholic beer but if you need one, what do you get? You get an O’Douls. BDSM isn’t your most common porn but have you ever seen one filmed by a company besides Kink? Bet you haven’t. Because those guys were smart enough to get in early on a unique preference. That’s what those perverts over at Baby Bumpers are doing. Can you think of any other pregnant strip clubs in the country? No. So now Oregon will become the Mecca for anybody who wants to see a Mommy and Me strip show. You see weird creeps, I saw smart businessman. Just ask that anonymous neighborhood lady who can hardly contain her excitement to see a third trimester pole dance followed by a water breaking shower show.