Northampton Cops Get A Call About A Man With A Gun, Turns Out To Be A Dude In A Tank Top Just Flexing On Them

(MasLive) — A Northampton man may have taken the phrase “sun’s out, guns out” too much to heart. City police were called to a North Maple Street home Monday afternoon, responding to a report of a man with a gun. When asked by police if he was in possession of any weapons, the resident responded that the only “guns” present were his biceps, the Daily Hampshire Gazette reports. Then the man proceeded to flex his muscles for the officers. A search of the North Maple Street home produced no guns except for a toy water gun.

Here’s what I think happened here, and if I’m right it’s the greatest move ever pulled. I’m thinking this dude is sitting around with some friends, having a few beers, then when things get a little boring he sneaks away and calls the cops to report a man with a firearm. When the ops show up and ask where the guns are, he just flexes right in their faces and yells “SUNS OUT GUNS OUT!” That’s what happened, right? Because obviously he didn’t have a gun. So no one else called, he must have done it himself just so he could flex on the cops and make everyone laugh. Need that kind of guy in my crew. The guy who’s willing to call 911 and make a false report just for a few yucks. Never a dull day with that guy on your team.

PS – I don’t really know anything about Northampton but one time I hitch hiked from Burlington to Springfield in an 18 wheeler, driven by a little Peruvian man. The only English he spoke was “lesbians.” He said it constantly. And when we drove through Northampton he said “Nort-ampton? Lossss of lesbans.” I don’t know if that’s true or not. But, I took his word for it, and ever since that day I’ve been under the assumption that Northampton is some kind of lesbian stronghold.