My Car Got Broken Into By The Most Diabolical Criminal Ever

When I got in my car last night, something just didn’t feel right. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew someone else had been there. Upon further inspection, my AUX cord and iPhone charger were missing. That’s literally all that was taken. What was left behind? A pair of unworn, still in the box Supreme x Nike Air Max 98s, Ray Ban sunglasses, and Callaway golf clubs. I’m not sure what that haul would fetch you on the streets, but on eBay I’d guess you can make about $800-$1000 with it. Also left behind, on my passenger seat, was a burner cell phone. I’m not a drug dealer, therefore that was not mine.

So what the hell did this guy do in my damn car? It’s got me so fucked up. Honestly, I kind of wish the dude stole all my shit so I at least knew what his purpose for being in there was. The dude took a 3 dollar AUX cord and a gas station iPhone charger, left behind all the valuable shit, and forgot his damn phone. WHY? What was your end game, you monster? Was it a homeless guy who just sat in there and jerked off? Did he just look at my registration and find my address so he can come murder me soon? Was it just a soup kitchen for Dirty Mike and the Boyz? I couldn’t sleep a wink last night because my mind was racing, thinking of anything that could have been done in there. It’s going to drive me insane, and maybe that was the goal all along. Fucking ruthless criminal/guy who was probably high on drugs and just forgot to steal.