Miss America Looks Like Dog Mess

DM – Miss America and Miss Hawaii swapped the pageant stage for the beach for an unofficial swimsuit round in Maui on Monday. But this time they were off the strict pageant diet. In place of the fake tan, glossy hair and flat stomachs, the beauty queens looked more like normal girls with curves in all the right places as they filled out their bikinis. Mallory Hytes Hagan, who won the Miss America title on January 12, looked gorgeous in a black bikini with gold accents.

Miss America looks gorgeous here? Really? Hey look ,man, tell me you don’t like my firm, … tell me you don’t like my fuckin neck tie, but don’t tell me Miss America looks gorgeous here. Bitch looks like dog mess plain and simple. Yeah maybe a normal chick can look like this, but we’re talking Miss America here. She’s not supposed to look like some slut who just put on the Freshman 15. I mean the god damn pagent was 2 months ago. Why did she even enter if she was just going to get fat the second she won. No wonder that bro from North Korea keeps saying he’s going to nuke us and shit. I would too if I saw pictures of Miss America looking this flabby.   Seriously if this is what Miss America looks like nowadays than God help us all.

PS – I don’t give a shit about Miss Hawaii.  She lost.  She can eat as many tubs of Ben + Jerry’s as she wants.  But Miss America represents me you and every American in this country.  Can’t have her waddling her fat ass all over the place like this.