Laura Ingraham Needs To Work On That Wave A Little Bit So It's Not So Hitler-y

I’m not going to be like people on Twitter tweeting a screenshot picture and saying, “WHITE, BLONDE LADY DOING THE HITLER SALUTE AT THE RNC,” I’m above gotcha journalism and such nonsense. I’ll even admit that my goodbye could probably very easily be misconstrued as a Hitler salute. Yeah, I’m man enough to admit there’s a little Gestapo influence in my greetings and farewells. I’m so lazy that my arm kind of just unfurls slowly and I don’t even actually wave once it’s fully extended. Now that I describe it and actually type it out, it’s very Nazi. The only differences are I kinda bow my head when I do it and I only have two fingers out.

So I’m not going to go too hard on Laura here, if you really put effort into your wave then you just look like a stupid marionette. But the funny part was her switch. You can actually see the hamster wheel spinning in her head, thinking, “Shit, fuck, this is looking pretty Nazi-ish, isn’t it? I feel like it is. Yup. Yup. Now that I’m turning with it, it’s definitely too Nazi. Gotta bail. Abort this version, go with wave two. GO WITH WAVE NUMBER TWO!” Then she switches to the “do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth” wave with a dash of Princess Di. A much better wave for stages, if we’re talking amongst friends here. Loved the she even brought in a third and went for the point after, like when you fuck up and just do a bunch of other shit to cover it. “If I do a million waves people will forget that I started with a quick little heil.” Genius play. I use it all the time when I sit in a seat and it sounds like I farted. Oh you thought that was me? Well let me just treat this chair like a Swiss ball, bounce around, and make a million different fart noises to prove it wasn’t.