Knee Jerk Reactions to Week 13: Pats vs Texans
Things to consider while beginning treatment for Post Walking Dead Midseason Finale Stress Disorder:
*I’m not all that terribly concerned about the Patriots playing a close game against a team they probably should have gutted like a fish. And I’m not worried about them getting off to a slow start every week. There have been plenty of games over the years where they let a bad team hang around til the end or needed a few rounds of taking shots from Clubber Lang to knock the Tiger back into their Eye. (They ain’t gettin’ killed! They’re gettin’ mad!) I can remember a lot of those games because I’ve seen them over and over again. On the three Super Bowl DVDs.
*As a matter of fact, this game reminded me a lot of the one that was ten years ago almost to the week, when they went into Houston against a garbage Texans team and need a last minute TD to tie it and barely squeaked out the win in OT. And at the end Gil turned to Gino and said “Now let’s get the hell out of here.” And as I recall, that season turned out pretty OK in the end.
*No, my concern is a little more practical than worrying about style points. I’m afraid the problems with this defense are many and varied. And potentially fatal in the playoffs. To name just a few:
–They’re Not Physical. You might excuse that first Ben Tate touchdown; Houston was in a 2-tight end set and the Pats were in a base 3-4. That means 7 guys to defend 8 gaps. But on Tate’s second, they had an 8 man box with Duron Harmon playing Robber inside Rob Ninkovich against a 6-man line and still they got gashed. And it was all 1-on-1 blocks. Right tackle Duane Brown kicked out Chandler Jones, guard Wade Smith road-gradered Chris Jones and Chris Myers the center bounced to the second level to completely wall off Dont’a Hightower. And the hole was so big Mike & Molly could’ve walked through it carrying party subs and not had to break a tackle.
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–They Don’t Communicate Well. This secondary is a good at playing man as any we’ve seen since the glory days of Ty Law and Rodney Harrison. But when they go zone, guys go wide open constantly. Like the 29 yarder in the 1st when Andre Johnson went behind the LB’s and no one picked him up. Or that 3rd & 5 in the 2nd quarter when Houston lined Keyshawn Martin and Johnson in what Troy Brown (my close personal friend) calls a “Nasty Split.” Aqib Talib and Kyle Arrington are responsible for talking it up, giving the “Bracket coverage” signal or whatever the call is. Instead, they both jumped on Johnson running a crossing route and left Martin so alone he should’ve put a bloody palm print on the ball and named it Wilson. And worst of all for a Belichick defense:
–They’re Not Versatile. When they had the likes of Vince Wilfork and a pre-diabetic Kyle Love, they could mix fronts from play to play. VW could switch from traditional nose to penetrating undertackle and turn a 3-4 into unbalanced 4-3 at will. They could actually play 1-gap on one side of him and 2-gap on the other and switch them in an instant. Now in order to switch things up, they need to sub in all new personnel. So you get Issac Sopoaga, Hightower and Brandon Spikes on running downs and Andre Carter, Jamie Collins and Dane Fletcher on passing downs. And these specialty units are vulnerable anything other than what they specialize in so you damn well better hope the offense plays right into your hands.
It’s no one’s fault. It’s been a war of attrition with all of the injuries and you can only hide them for so long before they reach critical mass. But yesterday they did not look like a defense that’s built for January. Unless they can luck out and face Peyton Manning on a hat, gloves and hot cocoa day. Or if they can keep their secret surveillance equipment hidden from that brilliant sleuth Antonio Brown. Then I love their chances.
*As motivational tools/punishments go, I loved seeing the coaches put Stevan Ridley in the Time Out chair and make him hold a football (incorrectly, I’m sorry to say) the whole game. But I thought forcing him to wear that stupid hat with the brim turned up Gomer Pyle-style crossed a line and I wouldn’t be surprised if they league makes them take anti-bullying sensitivity training.
*To Ridley’s credit, it was good to hear he reached out to Kevin Faulk to be his Mr. Miyagi and teach him the ancient art of ball carrying. It’s a sign of maturity and gives you reason to trust him a little more. Still, I’m guessing none of the other Ridleys asked him to bring the turkey to the table last Thursday.
*The Patriots game ball ought to go to Will Svitek. (Now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d be typing.) He came up huge against JJ Watt. To hear Gumbel and Dierdorf describe it, Watt was Bobby Boucher, diving all over the place and making every tackle, but officially he only had five. And on at least three of those he came from the back side on stretch plays where Svitek’s job was to zone block the interior guy to his left and let Watt go. But even giving Watt credit for all of them, when Brady throws for 371 yards for a 104 Passer Rating and only gets sacked once, you have to give a ton of the credit to the 3rd string tackle who faced the Defensive Player of the Year and made him a non-factor. Not to mention the Pats were most successful running the ball to the right side virtually the whole day.
*Svitek is the leader in the clubhouse for the title of My All Time Favorite Czech Offensive Lineman.
*James Develin deserves a ton of credit too. (Unlikely sentence #2 on the day.) Every season Josh McDaniels looks to incorporate a fullback into the scheme and he just kind of hangs around useless, like a vestigial organ left over from some primitive species that NFL offenses have evolved beyond. But Develin has been a factor. Yesterday he lined up at TE, split wide, threw a crushing lead block on LeGarrette Blount’s TD. And best of all, he made something out of the worst play call in all of football, the Short Yardage White Fullback Dive, which is designed to catch a defense off guard and has never fooled anyone in the history of the game. And didn’t fool Houston, who stuffed him and had him stopped 12 times but he just kept fighting his way in. Those Black Friday shoppers have a lot to learn from Develin about grit, determination and never giving up. And doorbusting.
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*Antonio Smith needs to realize that there’s not a thing any team could do to scout, spy, snoop or otherwise cheat that’s worth 1/1000th what Belichick is scribbling with that golf pencil of his. Wade Phillips could be holding the Patriots big laminated Outback Steakhouse menu playsheet in his hands and it wouldn’t give him the advantage The Hooded One’s eyes give the Pats.
*My Inner Rick Reilly Quip of the Week: “Ben Tate has done a good job filling in, but most Texans fans still belong to Arian Nation!”
*It’s gotten to the point where the whole world is treating Hightower like the reindeer treated Rudolph, but you can’t sugarcoat it: he’s a liability in every phase of the game. He doesn’t defeat blocks. Doesn’t read or react. He doesn’t run downhill so his tackles are typically in a backpedal and he’s catching people rather than hitting. And worse, when he’s beaten on a catch there’s no sense of urgency, no busting his ass to bring the guy down from behind. If they’d prefer not to put Collins or Fletch in there, I would literally rather see them just go with an extra safety on every down just to take SOMETHING away. Because right now he’s their defensive Chad Jackson, a high draft pick doing more harm than good.
*There were some fairly terrible non-calls, like the one where Josh Victorian (nice name) tripped Julian Edelman fair catching a punt and Dierdorf had that weird debate with himself over whether it was a penalty, apparently applying a different definition of “fair” and “catch” than the rest of us. But if they want to start calling games loose for a change, I’m all for it. I wouldn’t mind at all if pulling their flags out took the same effort as My Irish Rose getting her phone out of her purse. Football will be better for it.
*Remember all the hand-wringing this summer about the specialists? How Stephen Gostkowski struggled last year and never made a big kick in his career and Belichick was insane for bringing Ryan Allen to camp instead of paying Zoltan? Yeah, about that… Gost kicks a pair 53 yarders and Allen ices the game with a Phil Mickelson 60 degree lob wedge comebacker at the 3 and Zoltan has been cut twice in the same year. I mean, it’s evaluating a kicker and a punter. It’s not that complicated. And besides, it’s somebody’s full time job. I don’t think they need “Accessing Brain Information” guy to figure out which punter to keep.
*And I loved Belichick in the postgame exaggerating the distance of Gost’s miss, like the yardage wasn’t marked on the field. As a guy who’s been exaggerating his own measurements his whole life, I admire him for just rejecting your reality and substituting his own.
*As Debbie Downer as I started off talking about the defense, I don’t want to ignore the way the offense has evolved. Edelman and Gronk running free on deep patterns and crossing routes. Shane Vereen being left unaccounted for in the flat because they’re septuple-covering Gronk in the endzone. Blount being virtually untackleable. Amendola being basically a 3rd or 4th option now. Then add the rookies to work outside the numbers and get Ridley’s confidence back and keep changing it up from week to week and I don’t know that there’s a team in the league that can stop this offense for 4 quarters. I guess Brady’s screaming and body language back in September didn’t do irreparable harm to everyone’s psyches after all.
*This week’s Applicable Movie Quote: “Losers always whine about doing their best. Winners go home and fuck the Prom Queen.” – Sean Connery, “The Rock”
*I won’t spoil “Walking Dead,” but RIP, all who did not survive last night. And just for the record, when the Apocalypse does happen, I’m not calling them Walkers or Biters. I’m using the word Zombies, because that’s what they are. All this political correctness bullshit hasn’t solved anything for Rick’s people or The Governor’s.
@JerryThornton1
And finally, just because…
