According to John McAfee, a world-renowned sane and normal man, it’s this simple to crack an iPhone:
1. Take apart the phone, copy the instruction set and memory.
2. Run a disassembler to turn it into readable instructions.
3. Read it, find access to the keypad. It’ll take 30 minutes.
Do I know what any of that means? No. Does it sound simple? It surely does not. Does it matter? Not even a little bit. Because your girlfriend will figure all that shit out by the weekend. Remember after Deflategate when Belichick became a scientist overnight? That’s what your girls about to do. Chicks around the country are about to get wired in, learn code and learn how to use a screwdriver, then they’ll be reading your shit in no time. They’ve already got the tiny, Asian hands so learning how to deconstruct an iPhone will be quick work for them. You know when you come back from the bathroom and your phone is upside down, not in the place you left it, with the backscreen lit and they’re staring at you like a puppy who pissed on the carpet? Giving you those, “What? What did I do?” eyes? That’s child’s play compared to what we’re dealing with now. You’ll wake up at 3 AM and she’ll be wearing bifocals, performing surgery on the nightstand in order to get into that thing. It’s a new world we’re in now, gentlemen, a world where 0000 or your high school number twice is no longer an uncrackable code. Go home and put your iPhone into a blender, live off the grid from here on out, because chicks absolutely will make those seemingly difficult instructions extraordinarily useful.
PS – I was hooking up with a girl once who straight up got her ex’s emails sent to her phone. Hacked his shit somehow and got everything he did at the same time. Girls are so diabolical she wasn’t even embarrassed about it or anything, thought it was hysterical and told everyone. That’s the kind of beast McAfee just taught how to hack.
Is it a coincidence the app crash rate has increased exponentially since Chernin purchased the company or did he purchase Barstool just to watch it burn.
No you weren’t
Damn Dana…Feits just called you a beast. Shots fired.
A lot easier to explain the relationship between psi and temperature than it is to do whatever that is. I don’t get it at all, imagine chicks reading that
“PS – I was hooking up with a girl once” Fiction!!!
I never truly realized how terrible you are at blogging until one of your blogs followed one of PFTCommenter’s.
How do you not post the Joe Rogan interview with this guy.
If this works and somebody does it next few days Apples stock will be 75% less by weekend
Feeling your own tits while crying over the lack of Internet dating responses in your inbox does not constitute “hooking up with a girl who looked at her ex’s emails.”
“I was hooking up with a girl….” No you weren’t.
This is the same guy that started McAfee antivirus and admitted it’s basically the worst product on the planet. Cool, I def trust his opinion…
My girlfriend can’t even figure out how to turn on the TV. I think I’ll be ok.
Danas a cyber hacker?
@gallo fuck off clown, feits is wayyyyyyyy funnier than pft (and you)
I only read headlines so I don’t know the whole story, but if the FBI really doesn’t know how to get around an iPhone lock then no shit the terrorists are winning.
If my girlfriend reads code then she has been putting on an incredible act looking dumb as fuck, all the time.
Once had chick ask to see my tinder account. Midas whale ask for my mother’s maiden name and bank routing number while she was at it. Broads
Disassembling the memory on an iPhone and parsing it for instructions to deactivate the security features would be like asking your girlfriend to translate the Quran into chinese.
I guess when you are on a 6 day super trip on unknown hallucinogens this seems easier than it is
Also Apple encrypts the ARM assembly code so normal people can’t just access and decompile it. Otherwise you would have custom ios versions everywhere
Freaking Obama. Can’t stand that guy.
Ok, ignoring feits’s girlfriend joke for a second, can someone who knows something about this stuff tell us if McAfee is talking out his ass or if this is legit?
And I don’t mean whether or not a random joe schmo could do it, but could a well trained engineer do this stuff as simply as he says?
Gyno, yes easily. Nothing on any computer is safe if it’s in someone else’s hands.
You should put your computer in a blender and live off the grid for a while.
no way a chick will figure out a screwdriver
Another reason to have Samsung
Yes, this does work. Yes the government could get this done in a half hour. No your girlfriend isn’t going to do it to you. No, apples stocks wont drop by 75%. Yes, this will work on any phone laptop computer etc. No, no one is going to do this to you. No, you won’t do this to anyone else unless you’re someone who has indepth knowledge of computers and you probably still wont do it because its a bitch. Source, CSC Major. Have a good day barstool.
@pediatric_gyno idk anything about coding or iOS. However if you look at the Reddit comments on this video, it’ll say that it’s not as simple as this
I’ve had a gf use my fingerprint while sleeping. Had to turn it off so it requires the passcode after that.
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