Introducing Handsome Hank
Do people even know who Handsome Hank is? Maybe you’ve heard about him in hushed circles or back alleys, but I don’t think Hank has been formally introduced to the Stoolies yet has he? Honestly just like everybody at Barstool I’m not even sure where he came from or how he got here. All I know is he showed up one day to help with the Bro show and now he’s on the payroll as our official Bro Show film guy. A couple quick fun Hank facts for you.
– His nickname is “Handsome Hank” I’m pretty sure KFC gave him that nickname for some reason and it stuck.
– I fired him for real at least once, but he just kept showing up. When I fired him he asked me what it meant. I told him it means you don’t come in tomorrow. Well he was there with bells on acting like we never had that conversation and so began the legend of Handsome Hank.
– The first time he got on a plane with us he casually mentioned that he pukes everytime he flies. I thought he was joking till I got a tweet from his brother saying “I can’t believe you’re making Hank fly”
– Last time we were in LA he ordered breakfast and after he finished he just walked up to the Buffet and started crushing that. He had no idea that was an illegal move and he had essentially bought 2 breakfasts that I had to pay for.
– Hank’s biggest idea is a concept called 2man. In Hanks words it is exactly like the Hump Day camel except instead of a camel it is a guy dressed as the #2 who runs around killing people on Tuesdays because 2man hates Tuesdays. If you think what I just wrote makes no sense you should listen to Handsome Hank pitch this idea. Not joking he has pitched every blogger separately about this concept at least 5-8 times. 2man is coming. Be advised.
– Hank hasn’t missed a Boston playoff game in the past decade. He also has never paid for a ticket. He just sneaks in everywhere with a butter knife.
– At the first Blackout Show he attended as an employee I found Hank scurrying around the Green room throwing vodka in his backpack when the show was over. He turned bright red like a tomato when I busted him.
– Hank has a low 70’s fastball
– At Michigan/ND game the hottest chick at the tailgate party rolled up to me and asked me where Henry was. I thought she was kidding. Nope. She was looking for Handsome Hank.
– The 1st day Hank came to work he didn’t eat all day because he was too nervous to ask for a lunch break. Just sat there starving to death till around 6pm when I asked him if he wanted a sandwich or something.
– He may or may not be the heir to the Taco Bell throne.
– Hank once shoved a kid and almost started a huge frat brawl because the kid was in the way of his camera.
And yes that vine is of what Hank wore to work yesterday. I took one look at him stopped everything I was doing and said we’re going to Miltons.