I'm Out On Texting, Back In On Phone Calls. Hear Me Out Before You Grab Your Pitchforks.

Alright I know that’s a volatile headline but trust me, if you hate talking you’re gonna appreciate the fact that I’m back in on phone calls. I know it’s 2017 and people lovvvve going around and yelling “DON’T CALL ME UNLESS SOMEONE IS DEAD! DON’T EVER MAKE MY TEXTING AND TWEETING DEVICE RING!”

I get that. I understand it entirely, as I also hate talking to people. But that’s why I’m back on phone calls. Nowadays people just think it’s OK to have access to you 24/7. Your friend is bored? Oh, why don’t I just text John and we’ll slowly have a conversation for the next three hours and I’ll force my boredom and annoyance on him. Think about some of your closest friends, you’ve been in an endless conversation for them for the last decade! That’s insanity! You shouldn’t have to have conversations in perpetuity just because text messaging exists. You shouldn’t have to half pay attention to TV just because your buddy is waiting for his girlfriend at the bar.

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That’s why I’ve slowly been phasing it out. Less and less I’ve been replying to texts for the last year or so, I’ve been weening myself off the needle. Now? My closest friends know there’s no point in sending me a text, that message will fall on deaf ears and blind eyes. There will be no response as you yell into the abyss because you’ve got nothing to do so you’re just looking to shoot the shit. Don’t get me wrong, if it’s a quick question or you’re seeking clarification on something then yes, a text will suffice. But if you’re just giving me a “what’s going on man?” then that is absolutely not getting a reply.

The solution? Phone calls. Phone. Calls. Not a lot, once a month/every other month does the trick. That’s where I’m at right now. Every 6 to 8 weeks I talk to my best friends, we talk for 10 minutes and catch up on all the life events we’ve missed, and then we say goodbye. That’s not something that happens in texting! People don’t say goodbye, because they know you’ll be talking again shortly. It’s fucking bullshit. A conversation without a goodbye is hell and you only get those “alright catch ya soon” bookends on a call.

So yeah, I’m back on phone calls. But it’s only because I hate talking so much.