If You Even Think About Drinking Mountain Dew’s New Breakfast Drink You’re An Uncivilized Savage
NEW YORK (AP) — If you don’t like coffee or tea, Mountain Dew has a new breakfast drink that might perk you up. PepsiCo Inc. is rolling out a new drink called Kickstart this month that has Mountain Dew flavor but is made with 5 percent juice and Vitamins B and C, along with an extra jolt of caffeine. The company, based in Purchase, N.Y., is hoping to boost sales by reaching Mountain Dew fans at a new time of day: morning. PepsiCo says Kickstart, which is carbonated, is also not a soda because its 5 percent juice content qualifies it to be considered a ‘‘juice drink’’ under guidelines set by the Food and Drug Administration. A spokeswoman for the FDA said the agency doesn’t have definitions for what qualifies as a soda or an energy drink.
Hey Mountain Dew. You’re gross bro. Let me say this loud and clear. If you drink Mountain Dew for breakfast you are a savage plain and simple. An uncivilized savage and I don’t want to associate with you. I’ve never felt stronger about anything in my life. Seriously if you see somebody drinking this for breakfast I think you should be able to shoot them on the spot. Hell if you see somebody drinking a carbonated beverage before noon you should be able to murder them. There is just no way anybody who brings any value to society would drink this shit. If you want caffeine in the morning drink coffee. Period.