I May Have To Unretire From American Idol Because Of This Patriots Cheerleader Stephanie Petronelli Who Politily Declined Being A Smokeshow Until After The Superbowl

So I’m sure everybody has seen these American Idol commercials they keep running on Fox. Well yesterday for the first time the Cheerleader actually said her name and bells started going off in my head immediately. I was like where have I heard that name before? Oh that’s right, she politely declined being a smokeshow until February. Truthfully I didn’t even look that close at her profile at the time. I was just like whatever. Now it all makes sense. She’s a Pats cheerleader. For some reason the Pats Cheerleaders aren’t allowed to appear on our site which is like the most hypocritical thing in the world, but that’s neither here nor there.   I’m not sure if Stephanie realizes this or not, but I’m the foremost American Idol expert on the planet. That’s not an exaggeration. That’s real talk.  Like I was literally the Cosmo Radio American Idol insider. I literally picked 9 out of 10 winners before the first elimination show aired. I know every trick in the book.

So here is what I am offering you Stephanie. Once the Patriots win the Superbowl and you’re done being held hostage by your coach let’s talk. I want to offer you access to all my knowledge and insight.  I want to take you to the top.  Because remember if you stumble, if you hesitate, you can kiss the crown goodbye. Now if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times – poise counts! It’s just as important as singing talent! POISE!

PS – The fact Pats cheerleaders are still forbidden from appearing on Barstool is wild.  Every other cheerleader from every other city can.  Wake up whoever has that rule.  All the girls are cool with it.  All the girls want to be on it.  Stop fighting evolution.  We’re mainstream now.  Grow up.