Houston High Schoolers In Hot Water for Jumping Into The Animal Exhibits During a Zoo Field Trip

SOURCE – A group of students who were on a field trip to a zoo in Texas allegedly broke into several exhibits and harassed zoo animals. The Houston Zoo is investigating the allegations after they discovered posts on Twitter concerning the accusations, as well as a photograph of a student attempting to touch a jaguar inside of the animal’s pit that surfaced last week. Several users on Twitter reportedly claimed the image of the student from the field trip last Friday in the jaguar cage is a freshman who attends Magnolia High School. The principal of Magnolia High School issued an apology to the Houston Zoo for the behavior of students: ‘I would like to sincerely apologize to the Houston Zoo for the behavior exhibited by some of our students during a recent field trip. As the principal of Magnolia High School, I am not only embarrassed but extremely disappointed in the actions of our students.”
I have no problem with what these kids did. This isn’t 18-whatever year it was before the internet was invented: anyone who wants to see a rhino can google image search it and find pictures and video so clear that it’d make Teddy Roosevelt shit his pants. Just seeing exotic animals doesn’t move the needle anymore; 2015 is all about audience engagement. If aquariums in Chicago let mustachioed bloggers pet sting rays, there’s no reason zoos in Houston should let a bunch of 14-year-olds Ron Burgundy their way into the Kodiak pit.

Wanna pet a jaguar? Give it a whirl! Wanna take a selfie with an elephant? Go for it! The rules are simple: 1) No trying to harm the animals or their environment, and 2) as soon as you step into the exhibit, you’re on your own. You might get to hear the sound of a tiger purring when you scratch behind his ear, or you might get your face ripped off. You might get to swing on the monkey bars with a band of gorillas, or you might get your face ripped off.

Yeah, it’s always just a risk/reward of chill with some exotic animals for a minute vs face ripped off, but that’s a business model that will never fail because the world is full of dumb people. Put a big red button labeled “DANGER: PRESS AT OWN RISK” in front of dumb people and they’ll press it every time. This is the exact same thing but instead of a button it’s a lion that’s developed a taste for human flesh.

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Enjoy those billions of dollars I just made you, zoos.