Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

Texas – A veteran teacher and mother-of-two from Texas has been arrested for allegedly having sex with four high school students, including a threesome with two of the boys.

Heather Lee Robertson, 38, of Lufkin, was taken into custody on Saturday and charged with four counts of improper relationship between educator and student. …

One teenage boy told detectives that he and Robertson, formerly a kindergarten teacher in the district, started talking and exchanging sexually explicit messages on Snapchat, and sometime after spring break, she invited him over for sex.

The teen asked whether he could bring along a friend, and Roberson agreed, according to the document cited by the Lufkin Daily News.

When the two juveniles arrived at the woman’s apartment, they found her lying on the couch and smoking an e-Cigarette. After a few minutes of conversation, Robertson invited her underage guests into the bedroom, where she proceeded to strip naked before having a threesome with the high schoolers, according to the arrest document.

Two other high school students later admitted to meeting Robertson for sex on multiple occasions, bringing the total number of victims to four. …

Robertson said she recently became a heavy drinker and would sometimes forget the details of the sexual trysts. She also revealed that she did not force the teens to wear condoms because she can no longer get pregnant.

The 38-year-old said she instructed her underage lovers to keep quiet about their sex sessions, lest she get in trouble.

I reached out to you Stoolies and asked you to step up. And you have answered the call. Bigly. I’ve got an inbox full of these Sex Scandal Teachers now. So many that it’s all I can do to keep up with the demand and not become just a full time SST blogger. And you know how I decide which ones get the priority? How I separate the ones who deserve to get to the front of the list from the ones I put away for the dreaded slow news day? Grit. Hustle. Hard work. Well, mostly it’s good looks. But grit, hustle and hard work will help get you through the GtNSST velvet rope when there’s nobody super attractive standing in line ahead of you. And that, my friends, is what Heather Lee Robinson has in surplus.

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It’s all there. The menage. The other two kids. The mental image of her lying there all seductively to greet them. Like a very low rent, E-cigaretted Stifler’s Mom. Letting the boys ride barebacked because she’s past baby-making age. What she lacks in looks, she more than made up for in want-to. And that deserves to be rewarded.

The Grades:
Looks: Yeesh. That’s 38? If you’d said 55 I’d say she’s keeping it together pretty well. But that mugshot is something you’d use in an anti-E-cigarette public service message. And quitting the booze might help. Not only with her looks (so she can knock off the absurdly over-filtered Facebook selfies), but to maybe recapture those lost memories. She’ll need those Spank Bank deposits as menopause makes its approach.
Grade: C-

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: What gives, Texas? She didn’t have sex with HER students. Thank God, because she teaches Kindergarten. She had sex with four of someone else’s students. Is that what the law is now? If someone is taking a night course in pottery or Driver’s Ed you can’t bang them just because you work in the school system? How do you ever expect to overtake Florida as the SST State if you’re enacting such oppressive, draconian laws. I’m disappointed in you. Nevertheless, I don’t know how Heather Lee could check more boxes on the Moral Compass punch list than she did. Well done.
Grade: A

Intangibles: How about that first kid she reached out to on Snapchat, bringing his friend along? Grown ups like to say that all Millennials are selfish, self-absorbed little narcissists. But how many of them would have been such a good friend? It’s good to see the Sharing is Caring lessons took.
Grade: A

Overall: B-. You did the best you could. Here’s to you, Mrs. Robertson. Koo koo ca choo.

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.