Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher
Texas – Pasadena Independent School District police launched an investigation after what is believed to be a nude photo of a teacher started showing up on the phones of students at Pasadena High School…After the photo was circulated, Pasadena ISD police began investigating a possible relationship between Zehnder and a student… Zehnder, 24, was arrested Monday and charged with improper relationship with a student. Court records state Zehnder and the student had a sexual relationship from May to August of this year and met at her apartment. Court records indicate messages on their phones led to confessions. Police wrote the student admitted to sending the nude photo of Zehnder to his friends and Zehnder “initially denied any relationship, however after being confronted with the phone messages on the Complainant’s phone, she ultimately admitted to having sexual contact.”
Ordinarily, I’d be hammering this kid for killing the goose that laid the golden egg by shooting his mouth off about Ashley and their extracurricular activities. I’ve always felt these SST kids have to weigh their own individual need to brag against the greater good that comes from preserving a sexual deviant teacher’s career for future generations to enjoy. So you’re just being selfish if you spike the football. But this week, I’m giving this kid a break. Because I have to realize not every kid has it going on like I did back in the day. Since my high school years were spent strutting the hallways of Weymouth South High to the sound of bra clasps undoing themselves and panties hitting the floor, who am I to judge? Considering the advantages I was given I ought to give this lad a break and let him know it’s OK. I understand. Not everyone had my boyish charm and glossy perfectly Ph-balanced hair. Good for you, son. You done well.
The Grades:
Looks: I have to admit when I saw that first picture from the courtroom, I had high hopes for Ashley. She’s got the decent face. Blonde. She falls under the Jerry Glasses Theorem (all women look better with them than without them). But that quickly changed after a little digging and coming across these other photos. Yikes. That John Elway smile is not helping. And while that bottom picture doesn’t really tell us what her body is doing, I, like Ron Swanson, have a scientifically accurate 10-point scale for judging human attractiveness. That goober she’s with is a 6.8, which at best makes her a Grade: C+
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Granted, simple sex back at your teacher’s apartment is a quaint, old fashioned notion of what a good Teacher Sex Scandal should entail. It’s so 1992. But she makes up for it with a cell phone nudie that made it all around the school. And nothing gets you extra credit in this category like a nice confession signed under pains & penalties of perjury. So a solid Grade: B+
Intangibles: Ashley Zehnder is a decent porn star name. I see her in a lesbian jail cell scenario, working title “Prisoner of Zehnder.” Grade: A
Overall: B-. Not good enough to make the cut in December, I’m afraid.
[Thanks to my buddy Brink.] Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.
