Florida Fisherman Catches A GIANT Shrimp In The Ocean And It's Flat Out Terrifying

FORT PIERCE, Fla. — An 18-inch, massive shrimp-like creature was pulled from the waters in Fort Pierce, Fla., and scientists are trying to figure out exactly what it is. According to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission’s Facebook page, a fisherman named Steve Bargeron was fishing off a dock and watched another fisherman pull the creature from the water. He then sent photos to the FWC. The FWC say scientists think it may be a type of mantis shrimp, which is actually not related to shrimp, but is a type of crustacean. Scientists will continue to review the pictures to identify the exact species.

KILL IT.  I DON’T CARE HOW JUST KILL IT. So the other day KFC tweeted out the over/under on the amount of times I’ve seen the ocean.  He put it at 2.5.  Seems pretty low, right?  Well I’m here to tell you that it’s very much the under.  I’ve been on one trip where I saw the ocean.  That’s it.  One time.  KFC and some followers on Twitter couldn’t believe it.  Well believe it because it’s true.  And you know what?  That’s just fine with me.  Oceans are overrated.  I’m landlocked for thousands of miles on each side and I wouldn’t want it any other way.  You’ve seen one ocean you’ve seen them all.  Call it ignorance or call it whatever you want.  What’s so special about them?  You sit there, you get all sandy, you get sun burnt, you smell like shit and you go home.  Good times!  Whatever it is about oceans people on the coasts LOVE going to the ocean.  They also can’t stop telling you how much they love going to the ocean.  Another reason going to the ocean is overrated?  Because shit like GIANT shrimp who look like they could eat you in one bite exist in the ocean.  Fuck that.  Look at that thing.  No, really look at it.  Now picture that thing running up on you while you lay at your stupid beach on your stupid beach towel.  That might be more terrifying than the dog dressed as a spider.  So go ahead, enjoy your beaches and shrimp that’ll give you a life time full of nightmares.  I’ll just sit here in Iowa and do non-ocean stuff.