I work in an office with three people that should ask God to bless me every time I sneeze. Yet, not once has anyone ever said it. Sometimes when I sneeze Pres will grumble down, “you sick,” because he has the immune system of an Air Canada flight attendant. But never one, “God bless you,” from anyone. Ever. Meanwhile, I hand them out nonstop. Sometimes I’ll say it when I’m not even sure if it was a sneeze. Could be a succinct cough or a wet fart, I’ll still throw a GBU down the hall. Just to be safe. Because that’s the kind of guy I am: when it comes to my coworkers potentially dying of the plague, I tend to err on the side of caution.
It’s simple, it’s polite, and it’s courteous. I’m not asking you to be Mother Theresa, I don’t need a pedicure. But if you’re not saying “God bless you” when someone around you sneezes then you’re a goddamned animal.
And don’t make excuses for Pres because he’s Jewish. Jews believe in God. It’s, “God bless you,” not, “Jesus bless you.” Whether or not you eat bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches should have no bearing on your sneezing well wishes.
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